When You Let Yourself Down…Then What?

The ever typical peace keeper, despite best efforts not to be, I find myself slipping into that role time and again. Boundaries were never something I learned. Growing up in an alcoholic home they just didn’t exist. I earned my gold medal in peacekeeping just to try to maintain some space between myself and the chaos that surrounded me. Unfortunately it’s a tough role to break…but I will continue to make it a work in progress.

With a lot of self work and reflection, boundaries have become something more familiar and I’ve identified a number of them that work for me. The difficult thing about having boundaries is knowing when to set them. For myself, it’s usually after I’ve allowed them to be pushed, a number of times, in my efforts to keep the peace and oh yes, did I mention I’m also working towards becoming a reformed people pleaser as well? 

Calgary Reiki Treatments with Teresa Graham, RMTI usually will get to the point of being in exhausted tears before I realize I haven’t held my boundaries and have overextended myself to please. The stress of people pleasing is finally outweighing everything. Once again, I’ve let myself down. Any of this sounding familiar? I suspect it does because I meet a number of others in this life who will tell me of similar circumstances. So what do I tell them and what do I tell myself? 

1. FORGIVE  YOURSELF

First and foremost cut yourself some slack. After I’ve kicked myself a couple of times and wiped the tears away I remember to tell myself that yes, I caught myself again, I messed up, but I did catch myself and perhaps next time I will catch myself sooner.  That does happen.

2. STOP IT!

As soon as you realize the boundaries have been breached put them back in place. Take a few moments to recognize where you’ve been lax in holding your own space and gift yourself by putting those boundaries up. Then take a breath.

I use to feel that I couldn’t, that it was too late, that people wouldn’t like it…yeah, the people pleaser raises it’s loud and ugly voice to say “What will others think of me?”. But the more important question is how will you feel about yourself if you don’t? I thought so…nail those things up if have to, but put them up.

3. Say NO

Say no and don’t justify it. You really don’t owe anyone a reason or justification for putting your boundaries up and beginning to say no. Yes, it means you have switched gears, people may not like it, but is it worth the stress to not do it? Certainly if people ask and you feel as though you want to explain, you can, however at times that can be exhausting. Right now you’re doing the work of holding the boundaries in place and rebuilding yourself, and that needs to come first.

4. Celebrate you

Be You

Celebrate your Amazingness!

Hey, you were successful, you figured it out, you caught up with your boundaries, set them, took a breath and now it’s time to celebrate that amazingness that is your achievement. Yes, there will likely be more occurrences of boundary violation and people pleasing mishaps, but not today.

​Your only human and that is something to celebrate. Give yourself the pat on the back, the toast with champagne or whatever way you celebrate you!

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Reiki Classes in Calgary

Calgary Reiki Classes

Life can be a Bumpy Ride. Hang in There!

Uprooting my businesses and moving my career to Calgary has been a bumpy ride, to put it mildly.  Others tell me “that which doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”…I’m strong enough, thank you!

But when you make a huge life change what choice do you have but to “hang in there”, have faith and trust in things turning around, hope for the best, look at the half full glass… Are there any other platitudes that you can think of?

I will admit to being pretty upset (well actually, super pissed off (can I say that?) with the Universe over the past few months. The doors to Calgary were a completely unexpected opening and the Universe quite literally pushed me through them, but it was only a few days after arrival that things began to fall apart. The job I moved for was not what I had been led to believe it was (remember, this was a career move) and with an income far below expectations. After living in the bubble of small town BC for years it was shocking to rediscover how busy, and expensive a big city can be. For the first few months I hauled it back and forth (driving, with my cat, over the Rockies, for many hours) between Calgary and Abbotsford to see my past clients, just in the hopes of making ends meet.

handtohealth calgary

I didn’t want to come out from under the covers most days, afraid of which shoe was going to drop next, my world was becoming a scary place. I railed and cursed at the Universe on a fairly regular basis (I know, surprising huh?).  Frustrated, home sick, missing friends and family I was on the verge of giving up and going home to B.C. …but then the proverbial glimmer of hope began to show itself. And that’s where I was shown why the Universe had sent me in this direction.

I have been really fortunate to meet some fabulous people and very gifted health practitioners while in Calgary, and have now been presented with the opportunity to work with them, in a team oriented clinic with a focus on client care…which is what I feel is the optimal space for people to attain wellness. Positive, supportive individuals who are experts at what they do will be the people I get to work with on a daily basis, beginning next week. To say this is the optimal move for my career would be an understatement. But more importantly, it fits my belief system as a healthcare provider and my heart and soul are shouting a loud and long YES!

So despite the bumpy ride, disappointments, stress and tension, I do have to say you should Hang In There and have trust and faith. If the Universe has opened some doors for you there is a reason…it may just not be obvious, at first…but it is there.

 

Have you experienced the Universe opening doors on confusion that led to brighter happenings? Did you walk through those doors?

 

Something Extra for Mother’s Day Weekend!

We’ve had several requests for duo massages. That is two tables, two practitioners, two massages happening at the same time for couples, mother/daughter, good friends…. So we have added that to our Mother’s Day weekend for Saturday, May 7th.
Cindy Alison of Blu Stone Massage will be joining me at Hand to Health to offer duo massages for those that would like them! We can offer screening between tables or leave the space open…you choose.

What are the benefits of duo massage?

We rarely have the time and energy to fully connect with those we love and care about. Imagine a space filled with serenity and peace, where mind, body and soul are able to relax and restore. Now imagine sharing that energetic space with someone special. You can catch up and visit or just lie quietly and enjoy the energy together. It’s a fabulous setting for all!

Contact me to book your session for Saturday, May 7, 2016! Cindy is only here for the one day and we have limited spaces available so be sure to contact me soon!

Abbotsford Mothers Day Special Gifts

Something Special for Those Who Nurture – Mother’s Day

I thin the title of “mum”or “mother”has different meanings for many. Personally I don’t think it is a role that necessarily has a gender and neither do I think those that are nurtured must be 2 legged. Many choose to not have children but instead to care for their furry 4 leggeds’ instead, or reach out to nurture the children of others, taking a surrogate role. Many men identify with a more maternal nurturing essence in caring for others.

So when I offer specials for Mother’s Day, the definition of who fits that description and who the special are for, is broad and flexible…as they should be. So these are for you, the nurturers and the nurtured!

Specials for Mother's Day in Abbotsford at Hand to Health

Mother's Day at Hand to Health in Abbotsford