When You Let Yourself Down…Then What?

The ever typical peace keeper, despite best efforts not to be, I find myself slipping into that role time and again. Boundaries were never something I learned. Growing up in an alcoholic home they just didn’t exist. I earned my gold medal in peacekeeping just to try to maintain some space between myself and the chaos that surrounded me. Unfortunately it’s a tough role to break…but I will continue to make it a work in progress.

With a lot of self work and reflection, boundaries have become something more familiar and I’ve identified a number of them that work for me. The difficult thing about having boundaries is knowing when to set them. For myself, it’s usually after I’ve allowed them to be pushed, a number of times, in my efforts to keep the peace and oh yes, did I mention I’m also working towards becoming a reformed people pleaser as well? 

Calgary Reiki Treatments with Teresa Graham, RMTI usually will get to the point of being in exhausted tears before I realize I haven’t held my boundaries and have overextended myself to please. The stress of people pleasing is finally outweighing everything. Once again, I’ve let myself down. Any of this sounding familiar? I suspect it does because I meet a number of others in this life who will tell me of similar circumstances. So what do I tell them and what do I tell myself? 

1. FORGIVE  YOURSELF

First and foremost cut yourself some slack. After I’ve kicked myself a couple of times and wiped the tears away I remember to tell myself that yes, I caught myself again, I messed up, but I did catch myself and perhaps next time I will catch myself sooner.  That does happen.

2. STOP IT!

As soon as you realize the boundaries have been breached put them back in place. Take a few moments to recognize where you’ve been lax in holding your own space and gift yourself by putting those boundaries up. Then take a breath.

I use to feel that I couldn’t, that it was too late, that people wouldn’t like it…yeah, the people pleaser raises it’s loud and ugly voice to say “What will others think of me?”. But the more important question is how will you feel about yourself if you don’t? I thought so…nail those things up if have to, but put them up.

3. Say NO

Say no and don’t justify it. You really don’t owe anyone a reason or justification for putting your boundaries up and beginning to say no. Yes, it means you have switched gears, people may not like it, but is it worth the stress to not do it? Certainly if people ask and you feel as though you want to explain, you can, however at times that can be exhausting. Right now you’re doing the work of holding the boundaries in place and rebuilding yourself, and that needs to come first.

4. Celebrate you

Be You

Celebrate your Amazingness!

Hey, you were successful, you figured it out, you caught up with your boundaries, set them, took a breath and now it’s time to celebrate that amazingness that is your achievement. Yes, there will likely be more occurrences of boundary violation and people pleasing mishaps, but not today.

​Your only human and that is something to celebrate. Give yourself the pat on the back, the toast with champagne or whatever way you celebrate you!

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What is RIGHT with Me? ~ a Playshop

For the number of years that I’ve been a holistic health practitioner (20) and an adult dance teacher (12) I’ve heard women say some really disparaging things about themselves. Self critical, negative comments that they likely wouldn’t even think of saying to someone else.
bodyimageComments that may have been made by others who have judged them, or that they have taken upon themselves and repeated often enough that they believe them to be true, or a message that has been put out by the media and accepted by society as truth….this playshop is going to dare you to challenge all of that!

While we may have moments where we focus on the positive aspects about ourselves and our lives it is all too easy to become mired in the “what’s wrong with me” thoughts, embrace them and live our lives from their negative viewpoint.What if you had some techniques to use when this happens that immediately move you into a positive focus more often, and that space becomes where you live from? How do you think that would impact upon your life?

During this playshop, in fun and creative ways, we’ll dare to 

  • move our focus to embrace the present and all those things that are RIGHT with us,
  • play with easy techniques to keep our focus on all that is RIGHT with us (including tapping, affirmations, colouring, meditation…)
  • cover physical, mental/emotional and spiritual ways to shift, and in that way ensure that the different ways in which we learn and absorb information, are covered

Group size is limited and your paid registration will hold your space in the workshop.

Registration includes: playbook pages, meditation CD or download, organic refreshments and snacks.

Regularly $75 register by the earlybird date for $49
Sunday February 22nd
noon to 4:00
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Celebrating the Nurturing Goddesses

To nurture, guide, teach, learn from and care for …
to be there, to listen and
to love, unconditionally …
to have the courage, wisdom and love to let go and allow the shining of that individual soul to express itself.

Probably the most rewarding journey life gives us is to be given the gift of nurturing another.

Mother’s Day is a celebration honouring mothers and celebrating motherhood, maternal bonds and the influence of mothers in society.  Many of the celebrations can be traced back to ancient festivals that honoured the goddess as Mother Earth.

A figure often interpreted as a depiction of a...Many of the  ancient Goddesses and their stories represent the birth of humanity and the fertility of the earth, the earth being the mother from whom all life becomes.

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
~ Honore de Balzac, author

I was curious to see how the “mother figure” is honoured around the world today…here is what I discovered….

ARGENTINA celebrates the third Sunday of October, a liturgical date for the celebration of the Virgin Mary

In AUSTRALIA the tradition of gift giving to mothers on Mother’s Day was begun by Janet Heyden in 1924. During a visit to a State home she met many lonely and forgotten mothers and in a bid to cheer them she encouraged local school children and businesses to give gifts to the women.

BULGARIA’S celebration on March 8th is linked to International Women’s Day and honours the Woman as an equal human being.

FRANCE & GERMANY had different reasons…alarmed by low birthrates in the early 1900’s national celebrations began to honour the mothers of large families.

INDONESIAN Mother’s day takes place on December 22nd celebrating the spirit of Indonesian women to improve the conditions of their country, the day was introduced by the Indonesian Women’s Congress.

ISRAEL’S celebration was begun by Henrietta Szold who had no children of her own but rescued and cared for  many Jewish children from Nazi Germany. The celebration has evolved to be called Family day and celebrates the mutual love inside the family.

INDIA celebrates Durga ashtami or, the feminine consciousness of the cosmos.Durga slaying Mahisasur - golden statue. The p...

In the PHILLIPINES the mother is the “light of the household” and the one around which all the families activities revolve. This day for her is one of spending time with her family and having a day off from household chores.

In TAIWAN the celebration of mother’s day is a unified celebration and religious observance with Buddha Day and Tzu Chi Day. In Buddhist culture the recognition of mother’s day is one of the three fields necessary for cultivating wisdom…Mother’s Day for Gratitude and Thankfulness, Buddha Day for Reverence and Tzu Chi Day representing Compassion.

Having a child has been the greatest gift that life has given me, and being that child’s mom, the most amazing journey.

Making a decision to have a child – its momentous.
It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
~Elizabeth Stone


This Sunday and through out the year I wish a
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all of the NURTURING GODDESSES throughout the world!

What special ways do you celebrate the day?