Spring Clean Yourself (Part 2) The Mental

(To read Spring Clean Yourself Part One click here)

Far more important than cleaning the house is cleaning up the hamster wheel of thoughts in your head that no longer serve you. Those disempowering thoughts, feelings and old worn out stories that come along with guilt, fear, anger, shame, regret, etc. that are taking up space and not paying rent to be there.

TURN IT AROUND

zzzTake a moment to decide how these old thoughts may be serving you in some way. Do they make you feel protected? Do you feel yourself to be lacking because of them? Is the idea of letting go of them scary? Why? Are these thoughts true?

You can begin to declutter the space these useless thoughts take up by looking for more positive thoughts to replace them with. Did you learn something from the old story? Is it a lesson that has served you well since? Does that old thought fit with who you are today?

GET THEM OUT!

zzzaLook for ways to get the thoughts out of your head. Put them down on paper with as much detail as possible (you may need some kleenex handy because this can often bring up emotions too. But, that is a good thing). Is everything down? All of it? Now burn that paper and watch those old thoughts disintegrate into ash. (you can type and delete but it is not nearly as powerful)

Are there scraps of old thoughts left churning around in your head? Go and do something physical and get out of your head and into your body. Notice how your body feels while you’re doing it. Notice your heart beat and the rhythm of your breath. Physical activity can be like a cleansing breeze for the mind, cleaning itself out while your focus is elsewhere.

MOVE FORWARD

zzdSeek out positive, uplifting people, experiences and activities to create new memories to think about. Get together with good friends and enjoy great conversation, open up a new thought provoking book, create a new adventure for yourself and just try new things.

Your mind will have a whole load of new and positive things to occupy itself with.

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When You Let Yourself Down…Then What?

The ever typical peace keeper, despite best efforts not to be, I find myself slipping into that role time and again. Boundaries were never something I learned. Growing up in an alcoholic home they just didn’t exist. I earned my gold medal in peacekeeping just to try to maintain some space between myself and the chaos that surrounded me. Unfortunately it’s a tough role to break…but I will continue to make it a work in progress.

With a lot of self work and reflection, boundaries have become something more familiar and I’ve identified a number of them that work for me. The difficult thing about having boundaries is knowing when to set them. For myself, it’s usually after I’ve allowed them to be pushed, a number of times, in my efforts to keep the peace and oh yes, did I mention I’m also working towards becoming a reformed people pleaser as well? 

Calgary Reiki Treatments with Teresa Graham, RMTI usually will get to the point of being in exhausted tears before I realize I haven’t held my boundaries and have overextended myself to please. The stress of people pleasing is finally outweighing everything. Once again, I’ve let myself down. Any of this sounding familiar? I suspect it does because I meet a number of others in this life who will tell me of similar circumstances. So what do I tell them and what do I tell myself? 

1. FORGIVE  YOURSELF

First and foremost cut yourself some slack. After I’ve kicked myself a couple of times and wiped the tears away I remember to tell myself that yes, I caught myself again, I messed up, but I did catch myself and perhaps next time I will catch myself sooner.  That does happen.

2. STOP IT!

As soon as you realize the boundaries have been breached put them back in place. Take a few moments to recognize where you’ve been lax in holding your own space and gift yourself by putting those boundaries up. Then take a breath.

I use to feel that I couldn’t, that it was too late, that people wouldn’t like it…yeah, the people pleaser raises it’s loud and ugly voice to say “What will others think of me?”. But the more important question is how will you feel about yourself if you don’t? I thought so…nail those things up if have to, but put them up.

3. Say NO

Say no and don’t justify it. You really don’t owe anyone a reason or justification for putting your boundaries up and beginning to say no. Yes, it means you have switched gears, people may not like it, but is it worth the stress to not do it? Certainly if people ask and you feel as though you want to explain, you can, however at times that can be exhausting. Right now you’re doing the work of holding the boundaries in place and rebuilding yourself, and that needs to come first.

4. Celebrate you

Be You

Celebrate your Amazingness!

Hey, you were successful, you figured it out, you caught up with your boundaries, set them, took a breath and now it’s time to celebrate that amazingness that is your achievement. Yes, there will likely be more occurrences of boundary violation and people pleasing mishaps, but not today.

​Your only human and that is something to celebrate. Give yourself the pat on the back, the toast with champagne or whatever way you celebrate you!

Life can be a Bumpy Ride. Hang in There!

Uprooting my businesses and moving my career to Calgary has been a bumpy ride, to put it mildly.  Others tell me “that which doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”…I’m strong enough, thank you!

But when you make a huge life change what choice do you have but to “hang in there”, have faith and trust in things turning around, hope for the best, look at the half full glass… Are there any other platitudes that you can think of?

I will admit to being pretty upset (well actually, super pissed off (can I say that?) with the Universe over the past few months. The doors to Calgary were a completely unexpected opening and the Universe quite literally pushed me through them, but it was only a few days after arrival that things began to fall apart. The job I moved for was not what I had been led to believe it was (remember, this was a career move) and with an income far below expectations. After living in the bubble of small town BC for years it was shocking to rediscover how busy, and expensive a big city can be. For the first few months I hauled it back and forth (driving, with my cat, over the Rockies, for many hours) between Calgary and Abbotsford to see my past clients, just in the hopes of making ends meet.

handtohealth calgary

I didn’t want to come out from under the covers most days, afraid of which shoe was going to drop next, my world was becoming a scary place. I railed and cursed at the Universe on a fairly regular basis (I know, surprising huh?).  Frustrated, home sick, missing friends and family I was on the verge of giving up and going home to B.C. …but then the proverbial glimmer of hope began to show itself. And that’s where I was shown why the Universe had sent me in this direction.

I have been really fortunate to meet some fabulous people and very gifted health practitioners while in Calgary, and have now been presented with the opportunity to work with them, in a team oriented clinic with a focus on client care…which is what I feel is the optimal space for people to attain wellness. Positive, supportive individuals who are experts at what they do will be the people I get to work with on a daily basis, beginning next week. To say this is the optimal move for my career would be an understatement. But more importantly, it fits my belief system as a healthcare provider and my heart and soul are shouting a loud and long YES!

So despite the bumpy ride, disappointments, stress and tension, I do have to say you should Hang In There and have trust and faith. If the Universe has opened some doors for you there is a reason…it may just not be obvious, at first…but it is there.

 

Have you experienced the Universe opening doors on confusion that led to brighter happenings? Did you walk through those doors?

 

Judgments, Opinions and Criticism … oh my!

Do you ever find yourself in that space of feeling so “done” with the judgements of others that you want to scream!

While what another thinks of you and your beliefs only has the value sqwackthat you give it, at times the never-ending “blah” that comes your way can grate on the nerves. Others can be so quick to look for even the slightest nuance in your words and actions that they can find offense with. They appear to make it a priority to make sure that not only you know you are wrong (inept, stupid, ignorant…), in their view, but look for support from others in establishing the who is right and who is wrong picture. It is a strange mentality, I have trouble understanding it and my usual thought when I experience this is “don’t you have enough going on that you have to find fault with others?”

It seems that we are surrounded by criticism and judgement everywhere we turn in society. A lot of perception comes through media, with the constant messages that we aren’t enough or if we just did this or that we would be “better”. It seems that we are drowning in messages that we are doing it wrong, that we’re not enough, that if we only did it this other person’s way then we would be acceptable. BUT, do we really want that “acceptance”? Is it important enough to us? How much of ourselves are we prepared to give up in order to fit into that others picture of “enough”?

Personally, I really don’t care that much what others perceive as my not being or doing enough. I was raised in a family where the concept of personal boundaries and space were unknown. Where the expectation to be a “good girl” was so ingrained that I was a bundle of nerves to fall into that space rather than be perceived otherwise.  Attending private school, where we all dressed the same and conformity was the expected norm. It’s taken some time but I’m so beyond the girl who lived in those limiting belief systems. As an adult I’ve been drawn into similar experiences of conformity, I think because it is an energy I know, but ever more quickly I move away from these situations. I am ok with living, teaching and working in the ways that work for myself, my clients and my students. I am not a big fan of “community” because often you find the dictators somewhere in there. The ones that feel you have to conform to their way of doing things or their definition of community, or you are not doing it right. No thank you, this is no longer the space I want to be a part of.

Both of my “jobs” put me in constant contact with people who are at different points in their lives. I think one of the best messages I’ve discovered in my work is “to not judge a person by the chapter of their life story that you just walked in on”. It fits so well. Until I get to know a client or a student I have no idea what experiences have impacted their lives so far and I may never know. I have no expectations about what others should share with me. What I do know is that each individual will deal with those experiences in different ways and none of those ways are wrong (as long as no one is being harmed). Each of us deals with life to the best of our abilities, knowledge and intuitions, we do the best that we can. The last thing required is to have someone outside of us squawking about the way we are dealing with it and how we are doing it wrong.

Yes, we are all entitled to our opinions…but is it ok to push our peaceopinions on others? To try to sway others to our way of thinking and openly criticizing those that don’t think the way we do? While I have a lot of views around holistic health, natural wellness, dance, politics, etc. they will remain with me and not be put out in the public forum. Why? Not because of apathy but because I’ve seen others verbally crucified for their viewpoint and I’m not open to putting myself in that position. It is unfortunate that the accusations and name calling are so prevalent and over ride creating healthy atmospheres for open discussion. Healthy environments that we could grow with and learn from, in the exchange of ideas and knowledge gleaned from a multitude of life experiences.

What is important to me as far as opinions? That I treat others well, with kindness and compassion, and do what I can to help. That both my clients and my students receive the best that I am capable of giving in my service to them and that I treat them with respect. That I don’t intentionally cause harm to any other beings, be they human or animal.  That at the end of the day I can look back on how I’ve conducted myself and learn from things I would like to change and acknowledge what I have done well. That I have treated myself with respect and care. Whose opinion is important in all of that? Just my own!

Positive 2014 !

Happy New YearLike most years, the past 12 months have certainly been ones of change, struggle and blessing for all, with many people saying that the world and it’s changes seem to be pushing us along at a breakneck speed….I certainly did find that to be true this year!

There were 2 big events in my life last year that pushed me to grow, change and love more! I met the beautiful woman whom my son has chosen to share his life with and fell in love with her quickly. The sparkle in her eyes, the warmth in her smile and the joy I see in my son’s face…  what more could a mum want?
The 2nd being the opening of my new clinic space in Abbotsford, which isn’t as big an event as were the changes it forced me to make from within.

I’ve found this past year that in allowing myself to go with the flow of events and opportunities that life presented me with, (which by no means is an easy task) and giving up the need to know all details in advance, that’s right….just trust …life and its many gifts have flowed more easily and effortlessly. That’s not to say that it isn’t a struggle to just let go and move with the flow, it really is, but I’m finding it easier and easier as I see results coming quickly and in much better ways than I even imagined. Sounds like something out of a self-help manual, I know…I’ve read so many of them and have finally, after many years, come to the experience of just allowing the flow of good and allowing myself to be surprised by results.

In that allowing I’ve also experienced drawing new and different people into my life. People who match more closely that new path that my life appears to be flowing along. It’s been fascinating to share with and learn from them and to have made some amazing new friends.

Things surfaced this past year that forced me to look at what was working in my life and equally, what was holding me back. What was I struggling to “make” work, what experiences were sucking away at my energy…and what I had to take the difficult steps to just let go of. I’m not sure. but I think that letting go of things/people/problems/events is harder than trusting the flow, to trust that if it is meant to be then it will stay or flow back into your life and if not…well, the white flag of surrender goes up.

This past week I’ve seen quite a few articles, pictures and conversations happening around New Years Resolutions and promises…I don’t tend to make them and after the year I’ve just had I think life brings you greater blessings when you resolve to be the wonderful person that you currently are and grow from there, when you trust that things will get better and then allow life to lead you down that path of wonder (even though it may not be the path you had chosen), when you trust, when you let go, when you open yourself to receive.

Wishing you a wonderful and healthy 2014 filled with energy, peace, joy, surprises, openings and blessings!

At a soon to be announced upcoming Open House, many will have the opportunity to see what wonderful holistically healthy life choices are going to be coming available at the Abbotsford clinic!

Muscles ~ the Emotional Scream

My muscles have been talking lately and loudly!

Scheme of muscles of neck, with the stylohyoid...

Sounds strange perhaps, but let me explain.

This past Fall I took extra special care of me and ensured that I experienced regular self-care. I booked massage appointments in advance and also took a weekly Yoga class.

Not for the first time, but with a new awareness, I experienced the emotional scream of my muscles. The massage therapist worked deeply on tightly held and restricted muscles. The Yoga classes were heart-centred experiences where the stretches were slower moving and deep….opening all the muscles that I use, not just day to day as a health practitioner, but also as a dance instructor.

During these sessions the emotions came out. Have you tried holding a deep stretch for 2 to 5 minutes? Have you noticed when you’ve held a deep stretch, that the muscles warm slowly and allow you to stretch a little more? As I would breathe into these stretches all sorts of emotions came to the surface, those that the muscles had been holding and storing. All of them! The anger, sadness, fear, joy, frustration, peace and laughter. The Yoga instructors calm reassuring reminders to breathe nudged me to breath through and release both the tension in the muscles and the emotions that surfaced.

I experienced the same with each massage. It felt great to have someone work deeply into my muscles and to enjoy sessions where I could 23completely relax and de-stress. My physical body works hard during the week, my emotional body probably harder. As I relaxed and the muscles began to warm and stretch beneath the therapists hands, once again emotions came bubbling up. As a therapist I realize that they are only coming up to the surface so that my body can finally release them…it’s a good thing. I’m blessed in finding a therapist that uses and is guided by her intuition, allowing my body the space to open and release both the physical and emotional tension that I’ve stored within.

These experiences resonated with what I feel beneath my hands every day, as I work with clients. As they talk and/or as they relax, their muscles begin to speak beneath my hands. The bands of stress and constriction begin to open slowly and let me in further…so that what may have started out as a physical therapy becomes a holistic one. The “whole” client is realizing benefits!

fbprofileFor my self, I leave each class or session feeling lighter, pounds lighter! My physical body feels wonderful but more importantly my emotional self is more peaceful!

Book your intuitive massage or reflexology session and experience your muscles emotional scream….it really is a good thing! handtohealth@gmail.com

Fabulous heart-centred Yoga classes with Kim Pechet begin again at Wisteria Acres in January. Click here for more info

 

Are you listening to your muscles? Really listening?

Spiral in…Spiral out ~ something new

Nature spirals … and that includes us

Have you noticed the whorls and circles in the trunk of a cut tree, how a cat will curl up and around itself to sleep within a tightly tucked ball, the spirals of sea shells, plant leaves, wave patterns in the sand left by the ocean’s waves…

But nature’s swirls also open and release. The tree sends branches out from its outer circles, the cat gets up and stretches and the sand patterns are impermanent.

The human body spirals….our dna spirals within, we have linings (fascia) around our cells, muscles, our organs, even our skin acts as a liDNA and twisty green thingsning that holds us together. Our mind spirals with emotions that wind us up or loosen and relax us.

As living beings we can run into problems when we don’t take the time to loosen and open those spirals but instead, allow life’s continual and stressful grinds to wind us tighter…ever tighter.

We can begin to feel like a tightly wound spring ready to “boing” in uncontrolled patterns as we knock against those things around us and then lie in the place we land, still coiled and tight.

How do you think it would feel to “unwind from the grind”?

Do you think it would feel wonderful to open up and balance, from top to bottom, while still staying firmly grounded in YOUR present?

Acknowledging and honouring the individual and the pace at which they need to unwind, this session begins with some deep Breathe work and slowly moves into the subtle unwinding through Craniosacral Therapy (some clients will also draw Reiki and if you would like that included it will be).
Grounding the session with hand or foot Reflexology gives a sense of wholeness and harmony…it completes the process.
Throughout the session you have the opportunity to completely relax in the peaceful surrounds, the table is heated
(if you wish), quite music is the subtle background, essential oils that encourage your unwinding, gently scent the air (you may also choose to not have scent)

Introductory Cost $135.00
(plus HST)